two steps forward

usually this statement is followed by two steps back, maybe 200 steps back for me. but i am holding on to a positive outlook as i am taking some steps for change. maybe later i will write separate posts for the things i am referring to, but for now the bits & pieces will have to do.

first, homeschooling. it hasn't felt very official and i don't want there to be any pressure attached. it's preschool. my middle has all the tools she needs to enter kinder, if we decide to send her off to school in the fall. we are feeling things out and have found oh SO many resources on pinterest.

currently we are using the you can read sight word program from this great blog. i eamprinted the pages that i wanted to use, put them in sheet protectors, and place them in a three ring binder. we do calendar daily with a pocket chart, and we put together a valentine's day inspired sensory tub. we have open art like paint supplies out at the easel and stickers and glue and other embellishments out at the kitchen table.

our friends that also jumped ship from our past preschool are starting a traveling preschool of sorts and we are not yet sure if we are going to join. if we do, that will be an interesting experience to document!

second, i reached out to the local private institute that deals with speech and developmental delays. my little definitely has needs and for some reason i find that incredibly intimidating and terrifying. I made the initial contact and am to call back tomorrow morning for the intake. the issue is that if our insurance doesn't cover it we will have to go the public route and i'm trying to avoid that. we had the little assessed right after his 2nd birthday and it was an AWFUL experience, we ending up declining to complete the evaluation and booked it out of there, little and i both in tears.

third, i have my first every therapy appointment. i have friends who have relied on therapy for years but i never saw myself as the "type". well, i've reached a point that i feel like i need to work with someone to get through some of my "stuff". i verified my insurance benefits and used their list of approved providers. the first one i chose had retired and still took clients but on a cash only basis.  the next lady, who i felt was THE ONE, was no longer accepting new clients from my insurance panel. i was crushed because i really connected to her method when reading her website.

then, i came across a name i wasn't going to look into based on distance but i googled her anyway. turns out she is someone i contacted two years ago but never followed thru with meeting, for one reason or another. she utilized some alternative therapies and i was especially interested in her because of her use of EFT (emotional freedom technique). my appointment is next week and i'm pretty nervous.

in other good news, the oldest came in 3rd in the school wide spelling bee! so proud of him and loved seeing him proud of himself. he is a tween and often complaining or scowling. the glued on smile was a lovely change.

but, all these things move me forward, as opposed to the sludge i've been buoying in. i just hope i can get unstuck and move towards the me that i feel like i can possibly be.